


Welcome to Trench

by your_starless_eyes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Trench - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banditos - Freeform, Canon Rewrite, Contest Entry, Crossover, Doubt, Escape, Everybody Lives, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fear, Friendship, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, On the Run, One of My Favorites, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Dan Howell, POV Phil Lester, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Plural, POV Tyler Joseph, Plans, Plans For The Future, Rewrite, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Songfic, Strangers, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trench Era, Twenty One Pilots Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-07-25 20:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_starless_eyes/pseuds/your_starless_eyes
Summary: The city of Dema is quiet. More than quiet, it's dead, metaphorically.Left with nothing and no one, Phil  decides to make his escape and follow in the footsteps of his family and friends. What he doesn't know, though, is that nothing goes according to plan when the Bishops are hell-bent on keeping you inside.Still, he needs to get out and stay out, which leaves only one place for him.Welcome to Trench.





	1. Jumpsuit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Danosaur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danosaur/gifts).



> Now that the album is here, I decided to rewrite the story I wrote back in July. Longer, with more detail, and actual dialogue. I'm also writing it for a contest, just by the way. :)
> 
> Dedicated to Danosaur, because they gave me really good feedback on the first edition that I (hopefully) have used. Thanks again; I really do appreciate it.

_**"Jumpsuit, jumpsuit cover me."** _

* * *

Phil looks at himself in the mirror, applying a strip of yellow tape to the olive fabric covering his left shoulder. His pale face is taut with unspoken stress and worry, but he reminds himself it's all for naught.

Or, at least he hopes so.

Phil tears off another long strip of yellow tape with his teeth, gently patting it down onto his other shoulder.

 _Perfect_ , he thinks. He forces a smile at his reflection, and for a second he forgets about the yellow and he's just another citizen of Dema, another person brainwashed into complacency.

Phil immediately drops the facade, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. Weeks of preparation, of non-stop planning and sleepless nights, have taken a toll on him. Dark circles discolour the skin beneath his eyes, and his hands tremble with even the slightest movement.

Still, if he's going to do this, it has to be tonight. He's put it off long enough; there's no doubt in his mind the Bishops were suspicious of him even months ago.

Exhaling sharply, Phil unzips the olive green fabric of his jumpsuit and pulls it off. He folds it carefully and setting it on the plain wooden dresser. He picks up the roll of yellow tape and drops it in his beige coloured bag, pulling out a small envelope.

With shaking fingers, he untucks the flap and pulls out a small bundle of papers.

 _phil,_  
_wE miss you A lot. you Should really come visiT sometIme. daniel Says hello. yoUr father and i hoPe you're well. see you soon._  
_~mum_

Phil flips to the next one.

 _hey loser,_  
_you were righT - this thing is Hard. don't you darE make a dick joke. haven't got long, but before i forget, your mum wants you to know that Cornelia prOposed to Martyn. everyone said she couldn't 'cause she's a girl, so she had to Prove them wrong. reAl headStrong woman right there. i wiSh martyn the best, deaLing wIth that forever. somE day maybe that'll be us. firSt you gotta get over here, though. hurry up._  
_yours,_  
_dan_

Phil smiles sadly, tucking the letters back into the envelope before walking to the window of the plain and simple flat he calls home.

Outside, dark clouds make the bland city of Dema look even more bleak and depressing than usual. He can see the red cloak of one of the Niners - the only source of colour in a sea of white buildings and olive green jumpsuits. Phil isn't entirely sure what's going on beneath him, but he knows he won't be a part of it.

Folding Dan's note and tucking it into the pocket of his shirt, Phil places his remade jacket into his bag. He slings it over his shoulder and exits the building in silence, ignoring the stares he gets. He marches purposely through the city's core, right to the edge of the limits.

Phil pauses, staring at the clearing and cliffs that extend for as long as the eye can see. Fear sparks deep inside him, and he reaches into his bag, removing the jacket and pulling it on. He zips it up, glancing over his shoulder...

...and he steps across the border.

 _Run_ , he tells himself. _Run away and never come back._

Phil walks quickly, not daring to look behind as he makes his way through the open area that rests between Dema and Trench. He swears every sound is a Bishop coming for him, but the few times he risks looking back there's no one but him.

It's just Phil, alone, like always.

He makes it through the open parts of Dema, and eventually he finds himself walking through the deep caverns. He keeps his head down, eyes on his boots.

He walks through shallow streams and dark mud. He counts yellow flowers that grow in the half-dried dirt along the streams and the few that grow even in the rocks that make up the cliffs.

 _If even something as fragile as a flower can grow in this harsh terrain_ , Phil tells himself, _there's no reason you shouldn't be able to make it._

Phil looks up at the cliffs edges, watching curiously as a number of yellow clad people step forward into sight.

Banditos. Phil recognises each of them.

His brother, Martyn, stands alongside his fiance, Cornelia. His mother is faithfully at his father's side. A number of old friends - Louise, Zoe, Alfie, Joe, Cat - stand at the edge as well, watching him.

It's only once a young man with a yellow bandana over his face steps forward that Phil grins, though.

With or without the bandana, Phil would recognise his best friend. His green jumpsuit is lined in crossing strips of yellow tape, dark eyes watching not only Phil but everything around him. He holds himself with an almost regal posture - a leader.

Dan.

 _You can do it_ , Phil urges himself, smiling. _You promised them. You promised_ _him_.

That's when he hears the hooves.

Fear paralyses his entire being as he turns. A red cloaked figure rides a light coloured horse, but even in the distance Phil can tell exactly who it is. There's only one Bishop that can strike this kind of fear into anyone's heart.

Nico.

Phil can't breathe, let alone run away. He can only watch in horror as the Bishop slows hardly a foot away. Nico climbs off his horse, stepping forward.

_Run. Run away and never return._

The words ring loud and clear in Phil's mind, but all he can do is close his eyes in defeat. He won't be able to outrun Nico, so he doesn't try.

Then he feels it - fingers brushing the skin of his neck.

Phil shudders, not daring to pull back. He opens his eyes and touches his neck as Nico climbs back onto the horse. He knows what's there, even if he can't see it. Four short lines of black, defacing the pale skin of Phil's neck.

The horse begins to walk, and when Nico looks back at him, Phil realises immediately what he's meant to do.

_Follow me._

Phil sighs sadly, and he does. He trudges through the mud, eyes cast downwards. It's embarrassing, and he feels his face heat with shame. He's a failure; nothing special. Why did he even bother trying? He's just a copy, just a clone, like Nico's told him before, and only the strongest manage to escape.

Phil pauses as he almost steps on a small yellow flower, the colour reminding him of the whole purpose of his mission. He looks up, and Dan reaches into his pocket. He drops something, and together the rest of the Banditos do it as well. Phil watches on awestruck silence as yellow flower petals flutter down to the ground, making the horse rear up in fear. Nico tries to regain control of it, but it's clear he's just as confused.

They can't see yellow.

Phil could almost shout for joy as he realises Dan remembered what he almost forgot. He looks up; Dan nods. That's all Phil needs.

He takes off running as fast as he can, boots splashing in shallow water. It speckles his trousers with water and mud, but Phil can't be bothered to care. He can hear Nico chasing after him, but he just keeps running, letting an ear-splitting cry of terror escape his lips as he races for Trench.

_Where is it?_

Phil slips on slick rocks, cursing as his knee connects painfully with the ground. He doesn't waste time checking to make sure he's okay - he can do that later, when he's safe. When he's free. When-

Phil gasps as he slips once more, this time sprawling across the rocks. They dig into his skin, tearing it open and bruising it. He goes to stand, but Nico has caught up. He snags Phil by the collar and he chokes, falling backwards. His head connects with a rock, causing black spots to obscure his vision at the corners. He groans, feeling Nico yank him upright, but he's dizzy and disoriented.

 _Maybe it's for the best_ , he thinks. _Maybe you just weren't meant for this, Phil. Maybe you were just meant to live and die in silent slavery._

High above him, Daniel Howell shakes his head in disappointment as he watches.

"We're not giving up on you yet," he whispers. "You're not going to be left behind."

 


	2. Levitate

**_"You can learn to levitate with just a little help."_**  

* * *

_~before~_

_This is it_ , Dan thinks, staring out at the sea of darkness in front of him. _This is where you make your choice, Daniel._

Flee from a silent prison where he's lived his entire life, and run to an unknown - possibly fictitious - place, or live and die here. Familiar danger, or unfamiliar danger.

Dan swallows thickly, pulling at the collar of his green jacket. Every muscle in his body is tense with anticipation. He waits for it, for the noise that will send him scuttling back into Dema in fear like a rat fleeing a bright light, but it never comes.

All is silent.

Dan grits his teeth and steps across, half expecting a siren to go off and the Bishops to swoop in and arrest him. Nothing happens, though. Of course not. Who would be foolish enough to try to leave the city's core? There's nothing beyond it.

Nothing except Trench.

Dan's heart flutters with nerves and excitement at the thought of it. Trench. The one place within the city where the Bishops have the least amount of control.

If he could, Dan would leave the city entirely, but very few people ever get out completely. The city's limits stretch further than most people dare to go, and those that do manage to escape never risk coming back - neither to give information from the outside or to help. Still, from what Dan has heard before, Trench is a city in its own right. The Bishops know it exists, of course, and every so often they go to bring back one or two of the Banditos, but they have very little power over its inhabitants. They're only able to catch Banditos off guard and in the dark.

Which is why Dan is going in the first place.

Dan casts a glance back as he walks, fear keeping his chest tight. He knows he stands out - how could he not? - but he prays the darkness will cover him. Everyone's asleep; he has nothing to fear.

_Cowards only come through when the hour's late and everyone's asleep, mind you._

Still, he speeds up his pace. He doesn't like this feeling of exposure. Anyone who happened to glance out could see him, no matter how unlikely it is.

The dim starlit night sky casts just enough light for Dan to watch his footing. His black boots squelch in the mud, and he keeps a careful eye out for the yellow flowers that lead to Trench.

They can't see yellow.

Dan casts a silent thank you to the person who figured that out. It's terrifying to be out here, but the knowledge that he's more difficult to spot is helpful in easing some of his worry.

Dan relaxes a bit, slowing his pace. He tries to catch his breath, but he never stops. He knows that the second he pauses, he'll want to run back to the facade of safety in the core.

Going back is not an option anymore.

That's when he hears it - a loud vulture's cry. The bird takes off from a cliff's edge and flies towards the city. Dan's heart stops, and he immediately starts running.

"Shit, shit shit shit shit," Dan swears, feeling his feet sliding in the slick mud. After a moment, he looks up, noticing how the vulture circles high above him.

It's giving away his location.

Dan curses loudly, trying to pick up his speed without falling. His hair sticks to his forehead with sweat, his bag hitting his back with every step, but all he does is keep repeating words of encouragement to himself.

_Faster, faster, faster. Do what you have to do to escape._

The sound of a horse's hooves in the far distance makes him sick.

Dan doesn't risk looking back to see which Bishop is chasing him - he only wills himself to move even faster.

His lungs burn and his legs ache from the exertion, but he doesn't stop. He can see fire light in the distance, and he focuses on the mantra in his head instead.

_Get out. Stay out. Get to Trench. Don't let him catch you. Get out. Stay out. Get to Trench. Do what you must. Live._

Dan can make out the silhouettes of people against the fire's glow. The horse sounds like it's catching up to him, but he still doesn't dare to look back. If he does, he'll break. He knows it.

Dan keeps his eyes on the ground, watching his footing carefully. One false move could completely undo everything he's worked towards tonight. The stream tapers off, leaving only mud-coated rock, which quickly turns to dried dirt. The hooves seem to be getting fainter, but Dan knows he might just be hopeful. He keeps running until he trips, falling to his hands and knees and gasping for air. Once he's recovered a bit, he looks up, taking in where he is.

All around him, there are men and women in green jumpsuits not unlike his own. They all sport the same kind of yellow tape on it, though in different places. Some are adorned with yellow and black bandanas around their necks. Fire burns in oil drums, casting deep shadows over the deep trench walls.

For just a second, Dan debates running back to Dema. This place is unfamiliar and likely filled with its own unknown and unspoken dangers. However, he takes a deep breath and steels his nerves as a man with a bandana over his mouth steps forward.

"Who are you?" the man asks, his dark eyes narrow with suspicion.

"My-" Dan swallows. "My name is Daniel Howell, and I seek sanctuary."

The man is silent, and for a terrible moment Dan wonders if he's in the wrong place, if he said the wrong thing. The silence is deafening, allowing Dan's mind to run wild with possibilities and cloud with fear. He opens his mouth to excuse himself, to apologise, but then the man pulls down his bandana and smiles warmly.

"I'm Joshua Dun, but everyone calls me Josh," he introduces, extending his hand. Dan takes it carefully, surprised when Josh pulls him to his feet. Then Josh speaks the words Dan's been anticipating for what feels like years, and he can't help but grin like a fool.

"Welcome to Trench."


	3. Morph

_**"If I keep morphing, they won't know."** _

* * *

 Dan licks his chapped lips, pulling his bandana over his mouth.

"What's the plan today?" he asks Josh quietly.

"Don't know," the older man answers. He shrugs. "I really don't. Tyler hasn't answered any messages we've sent."

"Neither has Phil," Dan admits.

Josh nods, running a hand through his dark hair. "I don't like that. That's not good."

"Yeah." Dan pauses, looking out over the horizon. "Should we-"

"Not yet." Josh bites his lip, thinking. "We'll give them until tomorrow night. If they're not out by then, or haven't said anything, we will."

"Okay."

"They're fine," Josh tells Dan softly. "Tyler's been in and out of Dema and Trench for years; nothing bad's ever happened to him. It won't kill them to wait another day."

"You sure?" Dan asks. He reaches into his mane of curly brown hair and pulls out a strand, twirling it between his fingers before dropping it onto the rocky ground.

"I'm sure." Josh's voice is uncertain, though, and Dan gets the feeling he's trying to reassure himself as well.

"They'll be fine," Dan murmurs. "They have to be."

"That's the spirit."

***

Tyler opens a drawer, setting a yellow flower across the bottom.

 _Four_ , he counts.

Four flowers. Four escape attempts. Four failures.

He sighs tiredly, closing the drawer again. Rubbing his neck idly, Tyler glances out the window.

The sunset is starting. The streets are deserted for the most part, with only a few dark green suited people walking around. The red cloaks of the Nine Bishops break up the monochrome theme.

"If only you knew," Tyler whispers. "If only you knew what lies beyond the city's core."

He draws the curtains closed, sitting on his bed and closing his eyes.

"In city, I feel my spirit is contained," he recites. "Like neon inside the glass, they fool my brain."

The small stanza is meaningless to a majority of people. For Tyler, though, it is a reminder. One that tells him the safety of Dema is fake, like neon flames. It is hard to remember, though, when he recalls all the times Nico or one of the Niners have snatched him from Trench itself. When he remembers all the times he made it - or nearly made it - only to be dragged back.

Tyler stands, rubbing the back of his black smeared neck. He paces back and forth as he thinks.

 _Is tonight the night to try it again?_ he asks himself. He knows Josh, Jenna, and Zack are waiting for him; he can't deny missing them, either. Still, fear sparks through his body as he spies the Bishop Sacarver.

The Bishops keep the city under strict rule. It's not quite dead, but it may as well be for all the life left in its people's souls. Tyler sees it - their eyes are glassy and void of happiness or warmth, and they are almost robotic in their day to day lives. Dema translates to Tower Of Silence, and Tyler thinks it's accurate. The city is silent of conflict and war, but also of joy, sadness, and love.

Life is more meaningful when a full range of emotions are allowed to be felt, expressed, and seen.

Tyler grabs his bag off the ground, quickly making his way through the halls of the building. He squints as he peers through the quiet crowd, trying to avoid the Bishops. He forces himself to walk slowly and mirror the expressions around him, ignoring the stares he gets.

Suddenly, someone collides with him, sending him sprawling out onto the pavement. Tyler groans, scrambling for his bag and standing. A very dazed looking man with black hair stands up, apologising profusely as he dusts himself off. His tone is genuine, and as he looks up, Tyler realises his eyes are full of life and fire.

Just the same as on his own.

The man's eyes widen just a bit as well. "Who-" he begins, but Tyler grabs his arm and pulls him quickly through the streets, not looking back at the Bishop he knows is following them. Keons. Almost kind, but not quite. Certainly the nicest of the Bishops, but still not someone Tyler wants to talk to.

"Where are we going?" the man asks.

"Keep quiet," Tyler whispers, still not looking back. "I'll explain here in a moment."

The skies crack with lightning, and the dark haired man looks up as a clap of thunder breaks the sky. Tyler yanks him into a small cupboard just inside one of the many buildings.

"You're a Bandito, aren't you?" Tyler asks.

"A Band-what-o?" the man denies casually.

"Don't bother denying it. If you weren't, you wouldn't have followed me.. It's okay. Glad to know I'm not the only one left here." Tyler forces a laugh.

The man relaxes a bit. "The name's Phil. Phil Lester." He extends his hand, and Tyler shakes it.

"Tyler Joseph," he returns. "Have you ever attempted to get out of here?"

"Not yet," Phil admits, "but I want to."

"Got someone in Trench, then?"

"My family and my... friend."

Tyler nods. "Me too."

"What are their names?" Phil asks softly.

"There's my best friend, Josh," Tyler answers, an involuntary smile crossing his face. "Then my wife, Jenna, and my brother, Zack. Yours?"

"My mum and dad," Phil begins, "as well as my brother, Martyn, and his fiance, Cornelia. And my friend Dan."

"Well, since we're stuck here, what do you say you and I stick together?" Tyler tries to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice, but he can't help it. It's been too long since he's had someone on his side.

"Sure," Phil replies with a shrug. "It'll be nice to have someone, yeah?"

"Yeah." Tyler presses his lips together, thinking. "Funny that our friends have each other while you and I are together."

"Isn't it?" Phil laughs. "Life's weird."

Tyler smiles weakly in response, leaning against the wall. He runs a hand through his short brown hair. 

"Are you alright?" Phil asks gently.

Tyler just shakes his head. "It's nothing."

"You sure?" Phil looks concerned.

"It's nothing," Tyler repeats, a bit more firmly. "You want to get out of here?"

"Of course," Phil agrees.

"Then follow me." Tyler opens the closet door, slipping out of it silently. Phil follows, their footsteps echoing in the empty hall.

"Not to ask the obvious question, but what's the black on your neck for?" Phil asks after a couple minutes of walking.

Tyler stiffens, stopping. "It's... nothing."

"You don't have to answer, but don't lie to me," Phil sighs. "You can just say you don't want to talk about it, you know. I won't judge either way."

They continue walking for a few more minutes, and then Tyler clears his throat. "It's, um, from Nico. Basically just showing that I tried to escape before, but got caught. Sorry."

"No need to apologise," Phil assures him. "How many times?"

Tyler hesitates. "Four."

Phil whistles. "That's dedication. I'm impressed."

"Is it?" Tyler asks, frowning. "Are you?"

"I think so. You got caught four times but haven't given up yet. You're determined. That's a good thing." Phil bites his lip. "I've never been caught, but it's just because I've never tried. I'm too scared."

"It's okay to be scared," Tyler says gently. He laughs. "If you weren't, I'd be concerned for your sense of self preservation. I'm scared, too."

"Yeah, but..." Phil trails off, shrugging. "It's hindering, fear is."

"Close your eyes, then," Tyler suggests. "It's alright. Sometimes, things are less scary if you can't see them."

"Thanks for the advice." Phil smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his clear blue eyes. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"To make plans," Tyler answers. "You and I - we're getting out of here, my friend."


	4. My Blood

**_"Stay with me, you don't need to run."_ **

* * *

Phil runs his hands through his hair as he watches Tyler step across.

"It's fine," Tyler assures him. "Nothing bad's going to happen, Phil."

"I..." Phil hesitates. "You can't promise that."

"I can," Tyler argues. "Come on; the longer we sit here and debate this, the more chance we have of getting caught."

"Yeah, you'd know all about getting caught, wouldn't you?" Phil asks coldly.

Tyler feels his face heat in anger as his hands clench info fists.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demands. He doesn't give Phil a chance to answer. "Look, you don't have to come with me if you don't want to, but I'm leaving. I don't want to stay here, so I'm not. If you'd rather stay, be my guest. I can't drag you, but I can't help you any more than I already have. If this is where you'd like to part ways, Phil, so be it."

Phil hesitates, tracing patterns in the dirt with the toes of his boots.

"You said you wanted out," Tyler reminds him. "You said you have family in Trench. Don't you want to see them?"

"O-of course I do," Phil stammers, "but-"

"You're just a little scared," Tyler says, "and that's okay, but if you're ever going to get out of this place, you need to take control of that fear and use it to help you rather than hinder you. Use it to fuel your flight."

"I can't," Phil whispers.

"Yes, you can," Tyler corrects. "Come on. I'll show you there's nothing to be scared of." He extends his hand to Phil. "Take it."

"I-" Phil steps back, eyes wide. "I can't. I'm sorry, Tyler, but I can't. Go on without me. I don't mind."

"You do mind, though. I can see it. You can tell me you don't all your want, but the truth is, you do."

"Go!" Phil shouts, sudden anger in his voice. "I don't care! Just go, Tyler. Get out of here!"

"Phil-" Tyler begins, dropping his hand.

"You don't know anything about me," Phil interrupts, his voice low. "You don't know why I'm here, and you probably never will. Get out, and save yourself, because God knows I may never."

"You don't have to live and die here, Phil." Tyler's tone is pleading. "Regardless of what you've done, of what you're doing... you deserve freedom. We all do."

"Maybe in your eyes." Phil laughs harshly. "I envy your ability to think that."

"We need to get going," Tyler reminds him. "They're coming, so make your choice. Are you staying, or are you coming?"

"I'm staying. I'm sorry." Phil sounds genuinely apologetic about the decision. "Maybe one day, but not today."

"I'll give my regards to your family, then," Tyler promises. "Stay safe."

"You too," Phil returns. Tyler smiles sadly, stepping forward just a bit to shake Phil's hand. Suddenly, Phil pulls him back in.

"Stop it!" Tyler hisses, trying to pull free of Phil's grip. "Let go of me!"

"Stay," Phil begs. "Just a while longer, please!"

"I can't," Tyler replies, finally wrenching his arm free. "I'm sorry, but I can't." He crosses again, blinking quickly. "I can't save you Phil, but I can't allow myself to stay, either. So long, my friend. I hope to see you in Trench one of these days."

Tyler doesn't wait for an answer - he just takes off running, leaving Phil behind.

***

Josh sits up straight as a green-clad figure in the distance catches his eye.

"We've got company!" he calls to the other Banditos, standing. "Stay where you're at; I'm only informing you." After a moment, Josh frowns, squinting. "I don't believe it."

"Who is it?" Dan asks curiously.

"It's Tyler!" Josh exclaims, yanking down his bandana.

"What? I don't see-" Dan's voice breaks off as a young man with short brown hair and yellow tape over his shoulders slows and enters Trench.

"You made it," Josh whispers, grinning.

Tyler smiles. "Yeah, I did. Said I would, didn't I?"

Josh holds out his hands, and Tyler does the same. The pair do some elaborate handshake Dan's never seen. "Welcome back," Josh says.

"Thank you." Tyler turns to Dan, looking at him questioningly.

"Ty, meet Daniel Howell," Josh introduces. "Dan, meet Tyler Joseph."

"Pleasure," Dan says, giving a polite smile as Tyler shakes his hand.

"I..." Tyler gathers his thoughts for a moment. "Are you a friend of Phil Lester's?"

"Yeah," Dan answers. "Where is he?"

"I'm sorry." Tyler looks down. "I tried my best, but I couldn't convince him. He's too scared to leave Dema, I think. I tried. I really did."

"Thank you," Dan whispers, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Thank you for trying."

Tyler just smiles sadly in response before walking over to a young woman and hugging her tightly from behind. She squeals, turning around; her fear turns to excitement as she hugs him back. Tears of joy well in her eyes as she whispers something to Tyler. He replies just as quietly, and then he kisses her gently.

"That's Jenna," Josh explains softly. "Tyler's wife."

"Yeah." Dan presses his lips together, turning away.

"You alright?" Josh asks.

Dan nods. "I'm great."

The truth is, though, that he wants the one person he trusts and loves back with him, but he's still alone.

***

Phil paces back and forth at the city's edge, thinking.

_Stay, or go? Should I stay or should I go?_

He can't decide.

On one hand, he wants to see his parents again. He wants to see Martyn and Cornelia. He certainly wants to see Dan.

But on the other, he doesn't want to put himself in danger. He doesn't want to put his friends, his family, in danger.

_What's danger, though?_

Phil turns on his heel, walking through the darkened streets in silence.

 _One of these days, we'll leave. All of us_.

He makes it back to his small flat and shuts the door, locking it behind him. He stares out the window, tears dripping down his face as he looks out past Dema.

 _You should've left while you could_ , Phil tells himself harshly. _Who knows how long you'll have to wait now; you're stuck here forever. You'll never make it. You did it to yourself._

_Be content with your own choices, coward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took a bit longer to get up. Drowning in editing right now, lol, but we're gonna finish this before the month's end.
> 
> Keep an eye out for what I've been editing nonstop. It'll be here tomorrow. ;)  
> Can't wait for y'all to see it. ^-^


	5. Chlorine

_**"When I leave, don't save my seat; I'll be back when it's all complete."** _

* * *

Dan looks up from his bag at the sound of a twig snapping under a heavy boot.

"Hey," Tyler greets quietly.

"Hi," Dan returns, forcing a smile. "What's up?"

"Don't pretend," Tyler sighs. He runs a hand through his short brown hair. "Don't pretend like you don't resent me. It's not fair to either of us. I can tell you don't like me, Dan."

"It's not that," Dan argues. "I don't 'resent' you."

"...but?" Tyler presses. He looks exhausted, and Dan feels bad for a moment.

"You seem like a very nice guy, Tyler," he says softly. "You really do, and that's part of what makes me feel bad for disliking you, I guess."

"You're upset that I didn't bring your friend." Tyler says it like it's a fact, and Dan just sighs in affirmation.

"Something like that," he acknowledges. "It's petty, I know."

"Not really." Tyler shrugs. "I've been there myself, in a different way - angry that people made it out in one shot even though I've been fighting for years. Angry at the ones that made it out entirely. I think it's pretty normal, honestly. As long as you're around here, though, you have to know that people are going to be in and out. There are going to be people that make it to Trench, and there are going to be people who don't. There are going to be people that escape this place entirely, and there are people who are going to be stuck here their entire lives. And, of course, there will be people like me who find themselves stuck running between Dema and Trench until they die. It will always be that way."

"I know." Dan's voice is hushed, his eyes trained on the dirt. "That's why I'm going in myself to get him." Tyler's eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to protest, but Dan holds up a hand. "I know what you're going to say, and don't think I haven't thought it over a hundred times over already. I have. I know the risks. Trust me. You're not changing my mind, though."

"It's practically suicidal, but you're sure you want to do that?" Tyler asks. Dan nods, and Tyler presses his lips together. "I wish you luck, then," he says, extending his hand.

Dan shakes it, smiling. "Thank you."

"Any time." Tyler rubs the back his neck as he bites his lip. "Don't get caught, Dan. I can't stress that enough."

"I know, I know."

"I know you do, but I wanted to remind you anyway." Tyler glances out at the setting sun. "Take the tunnels back. It'll lower the chances of the Watchers seeing you."

"Is that how you got out?" Dan asks.

Tyler laughs humourlessly. "No. They know I'm gone - I guarantee that - and they'll probably come get me before the week's end." He shrugs. "That's how it always goes. Being out for just a moment always beats staying in, though."

"Yeah." Dan picks up his bag, untying his bandana and shoving it into his jacket pocket. "Tell them not to wait for me. I know the risks, but this is something I have to do."

"I understand," Tyler says. "That's why I'm not trying to stop you. If anything, you should go now. Wait any longer and you might run into someone on their way here for me. I really should either start taking those tunnels or stop trying. You'd think I would learn."

"I don't think it's a ba-"

"It is when it puts other people in danger," Tyler interrupts. "Which, it will, if you don't get going."

"So long, then." Dan begins walking, but after a minute he turns and looks back.

"Thank you, Tyler," he calls.

"For what?" Tyler asks, frowning.

Dan shrugs. "All you've said and done and will say and do. You're a good man. Just thought you should know that."

Tyler relaxes a bit. "Thanks. The same to you. Stay alive, friend."

"Likewise."

***

The walk back is long and silent, each step filling Dan with something cold and unpleasant.

_Go in. Get Phil. Leave. Get to Trench. Figure out how to leave the city._

The plan is simple. There's no way it can go wrong.

That's what Dan keeps telling himself as he makes his way closer and closer to Dema.

It all flies out of his head the second he steps back into the city. Cold dread seeps over every inch of his body, and he pulls nervously at the collar of his jacket. The city's hypnotic pull is yanking him towards complacency; it takes Dan consciously reminding himself what he's here to do to stay alert.

He walks through the streets, aiming for the building he used to share with Phil. The walk up the stairs makes his chest feel tight for reasons that have nothing to do with the physical labour. He stops outside door 1019.

Raising his hand, Dan knocks three times. There's the sound of someone standing and walking to the door, and for just a second Dan considers running back down the stairs. Still, he grits his teeth and looks down as the door opens.

"Dan?" Phil's voice breaks everything inside him, and he can't help the tears that well in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to get you," Dan answers quietly, hating how weak he sounds. "Tyler made it back and said you wouldn't go with him."

Phil is silent for a moment. "Jesus, you're a true work of art, Howell."

"Look, Phil, I know-"

"No, Daniel, you really don't," Phil interrupts, leaning on the doorframe. "You just straight up left me behind. What was I supposed to do after I woke up and saw you'd gone and left me with nothing but a note? A _note_ , for fuck's sake!"

"It wasn't-" Dan draws in a deep breath, finally looking up. Phil's blue eyes are tired, but not lifeless. Dan can't help but flinch as Phil steps back, sure the older man is going to slam the door in his face, but Phil just gestures for him to come in. He does.

"I'm sorry," Phil whispers, shutting the door. "I shouldn't have said that; I didn't mean it. I'm not mad, Daniel."

"I wouldn't blame you if you were," Dan assures him, sitting on his old bed.

"I'm not." Phil sighs, taking a seat at the desk. "I promise, I'm not."

"I promised I'd come back," Dan says softly. "Did I not tell you I'd come get you if you couldn't get yourself out?"

"You did," Phil agrees, "but you're doing something incredibly reckless."

"And you think I don't know that?" Dan breathes. "Do you think I didn't sit there for hours thinking over everything that could go wrong? I did, and I decided that getting you out of here outweighs all the risks, Phil."

Phil runs a hand through his hair. "I want to leave, okay? I really do, but I don't know if I can. I can't promise I'll go with you, but I promise I'll listen. I'll listen to whatever you have to say."

Dan nods, pulling the bandana out of his pocket. He wraps it around his hand as he tries to form coherent sentences.

"Yellow," he begins, "is representative of hope. Did you know that? Not only can the Watchers not see it, but it's a warm colour. It's the colour of sunshine and happiness. It stands for positivity, clarity, energy, optimism, enlightenment, remembrance, intellect, honour, loyalty, and joy."

"You know what else yellow represents?" Phil asks. "Dishonesty, immaturity, anger, frustration, cowardice and deceit."

Dan presses his lips together. "I know. Which is almost funny."

"How so?"

"The colour the Watchers can't see represents all these negative things, yet it still stands for so much more positive."

"Why are you telling me this?" Phil asks wearily.

"Because I'm trying to make you see something. I'm trying to show you that no matter how shitty things are, there's always something good."

"Dan, I-"

"Shut up. Please, if you stop me now I'll never be able to get all of this out, so please just shut up for a moment.

"Tyler made some good points earlier, before I left. He told me that there are people who will live and die here, and that's true. There are people who will make it to Trench only to come right back here, and some that will continue that cycle endlessly. There are people who will completely leave the city. He also said even a moment out of this hell is better than being stuck inside all the time. You'll have something to hold on to if you get pulled back in. I don't believe you're in the group who will live and die here. You wanted to get out. You still do. You and I are going to do just that, even if I have to drag you. Even if I have to stay here myself to keep you out. I promised. I swore I'd get you out, didn't I?" Dan is on the verge of tears, and Phil seems to be thinking his words over. " _Didn't I?_ " he repeats more forcefully.

"Yeah," Phil agrees. "You did."

"That's exactly what we're doing," Dan tells him. He glances out the window and stands. "If we go now, we can be back at Trench before sunrise."

"Does it have to be tonight?" Phil's voice is tiny, his shoulders hunched.

"It's better if it is," Dan answers carefully.

"It doesn't have to be, then," Phil pleads. "Just a day or two. We can catch up and make plans instead of rushing it."

"What is wrong with you?" Dan snaps. "If I didn't know better, I might think you wanted to stay here!"

"I don't know what I want anymore," Phil admits. He grips his hair tightly, exhaling sharply. "I don't want to risk your safety."

"If you really didn't, you'd have come with Tyler," Dan replies coldly. "You don't give a fuck about my safety, so quit pretending to care." Phil frowns, and Dan's eyes widen as he claps a hand over his mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!"

"That's exactly why you shouldn't have come back," Phil sighs, crossing his legs. "You're already falling under. You're not as strong as you think, Daniel. A few weeks in that place really made you think you're that tough, hmm?"

"That's why I want to get back soon," Dan begs. "Come on, please!"

Phil just stands up and turns out the light, mumbling a hushed good night as he lies on the other bed.


	6. Smithereens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the length. I'm not feeling too great today; I'm sick as a dog. :/

_**"For you, I would get beat to smithereens."** _

* * *

Phil moves the pencil back and forth between his hands.

_Left, right. Left, right. Left, right._

Dan is still asleep. Phil expected him to be awake hours ago - surely living in Trench should've ingrained some sense of time sensitivity in him - but, at the end of the day, it seems that Dan is still Dan. He snores softly, one arm dangling over the edge of the white clothed bed. His curls form a sort of frizzy halo around his head, catching the early morning light. The plain white sheets are tangled around his long legs. His jacket is on the floor alongside his bag.

Yes, Dan is still Dan.

Phil exhales slowly. He should go. He knows it, but it's so hard to leave familiarity for some place that he's only heard of.

Dan groans, sitting up a bit.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Phil teases, tucking the pencil into the front pocket of his trousers. "It's about time."

"What time is it?" Dan asks, rubbing his eyes.

"Late enough," Phil answers with a shrug.

Dan flips him off. "Shut up."

"I see you're not any nicer," Phil scoffs.

"Who needs nice?" Dan asks, laughing loudly. "Nice won't get you anywhere."

"You'd be surprised." Phil stands, stretching his arms out. "Right, well, get up."

"Bossy, aren't you?" Dan chides. He stands anyway and picks up his jacket. "You haven't changed a bit, Lester."

"Nor have you," Phil returns. He runs a hand through his hair while Dan pulls his junpsuit on. "I've missed your useless arse, though."

"I could say the same to you." Dan throws an arm around Phil, pulling him close. "Bitch," he whispers, kissing his cheek before shoving him away.

Phil laughs, grabbing Dan's arm and yanking him close. "Come here, you stupid rat."

"Stupid rat, hmm?" Dan lets Phil back him against a wall. "Your insults haven't gotten any better, either."

"They didn't need to," Phil murmurs. "There's only one person I love enough to insult regularly."

"Yeah?" Dan breathes.

Phil leans a bit closer, a smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. "Yeah."

"Prove it."

Phil closes the gap without hesitation. Dan's hands find their way to Phil's dark hair, and the younger man parts his lips as Phil's tongue swipes over them. Dan moans softly, his fingers tightening in Phil's hair. It's deep and slow and Phil never wants to stop.

"Fuck," Dan breathes as Phil pulls back. "I missed doing that."

"Me too," Phil admits, dipping forward and stealing another kiss. "God, I forgot how pretty you can be when I'm not cursing your existence."

"You were really that mad, hmm?" Dan asks, gently brushing a stray piece of hair from Phil's face.

"Maybe that's part of the reason I wanted to stay," Phil admits. "I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to see you again."

"I'm sorry." Dan pulls Phil close, hugging him tightly. "I always planned to come back, you know."

"I know." Phil reaches up and grabs Dan's wrists, suddenly pinning them against the wall. A small gasp escapes the brunette's lips. "There's some other things I missed doing, you know."

"Oh?" Dan's eyes flick between Phil's lips and blue eyes. "Show me what you've been missing then, Lester."

Phil smirks. "Gladly."

***

The sun is just beginning to set when Dan wakes again. Phil is still sleeping, warm air tickling Dan's ear with his every breath. Dan's arm is draped over the older man's stomach, lips pressed to the skin just beneath his collarbone.

For several minutes, Dan lets himself just lie there, breathing in the scent of linen sheets and sweat and sex and Phil.

It feels like home, but Dan knows it's not.

He used to tell himself that home was wherever Phil was. He used to honestly believe it. Now, he knows it was never true, but he's reluctant to remind himself.

Phil stirs, and Dan holds his breath.

 _Don't wake up_ , he begs silently.  _Don't kill this small space we have. Keep it for just us, please. Don't make it so we have to wake up and make the choice to either stay together or part ways again._

_Don't make me have to leave you a second time._

_I don't know if I can do that; you know I'd let the Bishops hold me here to keep you happy, to just stay with you. For you, I would fight a hopeless war. I would kill myself to keep you alive._

_But what would I do for_ myself?

Dan lets out the breath he'd been holding as Phil pulls him closer and drifts back off.

 _It may feel like a dream to be here with you, my love_ , Dan thinks grimly,  _but this city is poison through and through._


	7. Neon Gravestones

**_"Neon gravestones try to call for my bones."_ **

* * *

It's taking too long. This wasn't part of the plan.

Dan is going insane in this place. Every inch of his being aches to run far, far away, but he can't leave without Phil. That was the whole reason for coming back.

Dan paces back and forth as his fingers work over the rope, his dark eyes flicking back and forth between the knots and the door.

He wraps the loop around his hand and yanks the end. The loop tightens, digging into his skin. It only loosens when he works his fingers beneath the rope and pulls it loose again.

He repeats the motion. Again again again.

Of course, the idea of wrapping around his neck has come and gone. Dan would be lying if he said it hadn't. However, he won't do it.

There's a kind of fear that comes with even just being in Dema. A fear of living, a fear of dying. A fear of failure, a fear of success. A fear of rejection, a fear of acceptance.

Dema itself is constant fear.

Dan glances out the window, fingers twitching as the Bishops pass beneath. His chest tightens at the mere sight of them, and he yearns to flee.

But he can't. Not yet.

It's exhausting, but he cannot leave without the person he returned to get.

He can't kill himself. He can't get to Trench. He can't do anything but sit in deafening silence and hope he doesn't spiral into further insanity.

 _Here's hoping_ , Dan thinks grimly,

***

Dan reached into his bag, pulling out a small piece of paper and a pencil.

_Phil—_

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave you. I promise I'll come back, but I can't stay here any more. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I can’t stay, but I will come back._

_I will always come back. I promise. One day, it’s going to be you and me out there, in Trench. You and I are going to escape this entire city and we are going to live long and happy lives and I will make it happen if it kills me. I promise. You probably don’t believe me at all, and I don’t blame you, but I swear it._

_I love you._

_—Dan_

It was cowardly but necessary. If Phil asked him to stay, there would be no arguement. He wouldn’t be able to stay strong in face of the person he loved so desperately. It would destroy everything he’d planned over the months, and that risk wasn’t worth taking.

Dan would’ve done anything for Phil except that.

And now it’s just the opposite.

Tears slide down his face like raindrops down a windowpane. His hands tremble like branches in the wind. Thoughts race through his mind like birds fleeing a hunter.

Demons whisper in his ear, telling him things he hasn’t heard in ages, things he could’ve gone his whole life without hearing again.

_Harden your heart and leave. The children who love and trust are the ones who are torn apart the fastest. The weakest must go, after all._

Dan shakes his head in an effort to physically free himself on the invasive thoughts.

 _Hold on to a light_ , he tells himself.  _Find something, please._

The thing about lights is that they fade out, leaving people lost in the dark. The dark is the most dangerous place to be — it is there that demons and fear take hold and root in a person’s soul.

The silence is crushing him, breaking Dan into pieces and he is failing. He is falling under, and no matter how strong he was or even is, he is not invincible. He never was and he never will be.

Even the strongest structures can fall in a storm.

Trees bend and break. Clay cracks and paint chips. Lights go out. Purpose leaves. Colours fade and bleach.

Flowers die and people fail.


	8. The Hype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi prepare for an update spam. My apologies in advance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished on the 31st, but my mental health is suffering greatly right now (it has been for several days, hence my silence) and I couldn't make myself log in to this site until tonight. That being said...
> 
> Here we go; enjoy the rest.

_**"Nice to know my kind will be on my side."** _

* * *

 

“He did _what?_ ” Josh exclaims.

“He left,” Tyler answers simply, shrugging. “I know the look of determination, and that’s definitely what was in his eyes. There was no stopping him, Josh.”

Josh opens his mouth to protest, but he bites it back. “Okay.”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Tyler begins with caution, “but if there was ever a person who could get in and out of Dema, it would be Dan. I think he could do it.”

“I have no doubts,” Josh begins, “but that's still a dangerous game he's playing."

"I know. Anything involving that place is dangerous."

"Exactly." Josh stares at the flames of the oil drum in front of him, tapping his fingers on his leg idly. "Do we wait for him to come back, or do we go get him?"

"Give him a couple days, and then—" Tyler's voice suddenly breaks off, and Josh's head snaps up to find an empty space where Tyler was sitting only seconds before. The air has a chilled, morbid aura to it, and Josh has no doubt as to what just happened.

"No!" he shouts, standing up and looking around the darkened campsite. "Tyler!"

The other man is nowhere to be found, though, and the other Banditos all shrink back slightly as Josh rips off his bandana and throws it to the ground in frustration.

"Not again," he moans. "Not again!"

"What just happened?" a young woman asks. Cara, Josh remembers.

"One of the Niners got Tyler," a dark-haired man answers — Jackson.

"What?" Cara sounds shocked. "No, we have to go back and get him!"

"No." Josh's voice is hushed but firm. "No one's going back."

"We can't just let him be dragged back to Dema!" Cara argues. "We have to—"

"Welcome to Trench," Jackson interrupts, sounding almost bored. It's clear he's had this discussion almost as many times aa Josh has. "If you run back every time someone gets snatched, you'll find that you spend more in Dema than Trench. And eventually, there'll come a day when you don't come back out. You can't save everyone, so at least save yourself. That being said, if you want to sabotage your own progress and run back, no one's stopping you."

Cara doesn't reply, thinking it over.

"But you can't just let them drag one of your own kind back," she protests weakly after a moment.

"No, you're right," Josh allows, breaking back into the conversation. "And we aren't just going to leave him there; that's not what we do. We are the Banditos, and so is Tyler. Really, so is every single person in that city, regardless of if they know it or not. Everyone is worth saving; everyone can.be saved. However, not all people want to be saved. You have to respect that, or you'll find yourself falling back under the Bishop's rule." Josh pauses for a second, aware that all eyes are on him. "Timing is also everything, Cara. If you just march in there like you own the place, everything will go wrong.  
You have to plan, and you have to remind yourself that some people are going to do everything they can to get you to stay. When they start trying those tactics, that's when you pull yourself out of there, when you abort the mission."

"What I'm hearing is the second someone gives a little resistance, you remove yourself from the situation," Cara accuses.

"No, that's not—" Josh falters. "No. There's always going to be some resistance. What I'm saying is that when people make it clear they're not coming back with you, sometimes you have to leave them behind. It hurts, and it sucks to not be able to save everyone, but you have to know when  
to quit, and sometimes when you're losing you need to quit."

"Sounds like something a coward would say," Cara mutters.

Josh doesn't reply, staring at the ground as he sinks back onto his seat.

_"There are going to be people that make it to Trench, and there are going to be people who don't. There are going to be people that escape this place entirely, and there are people who are going to be stuck here their entire lives. And, of course, there will be people who find themselves stuck_ _running between Dema and Trench until they die."_

***

"You're upset about something," Phil observes, watching Dan pick at his food.

"Just not hungry," Dan mumbles as he sets down his fork. "Sorry."

"Are you feeling alright?" Phil asks, reaching across the small table to feel Dan's forehead. Dan ducks away from his touch and stares at the floor. "Hey. Look at me." Dan's eyes shift up just slightly, focusing on Phil's nose instead of his eyes. "Dan, what's going on?" Phil asks gently. "Talk to me, love."

"It's nothing." Dan's tone is void of any emotion. He stands and pushes in his chair. "I'm going to bed if that's alright. I'm tired."

"Yeah, of course." Phil nods. "Get some rest."

Dan exits the room without another word, shutting the bedroom door behind him, and Phil exhales sharply as he rests his chin against the palm of his hand.

It's clear Dan is miserable in Dema, and Phil doesn't blame him.

The spiral has been quick and nasty. Dan went from bright and cheery to depressed and dampened spirited in a matter of days. It's clear he's unhappy, and it pains Phil to see him so.

Still, he can't bear to leave the one place he's ever known.

Quietly, Phil enters the bedroom. Dan is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. His fingers move in small circles over the hem of his shirt.

"Hey," Phil greets, walking over and sitting on his bed. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Dan sits up and moves over a bit, leaning on Phil's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Phil whispers, wrapping an arm around him and hugging him tightly. "You're not happy; I can see it."

“I’m fine,” Dan murmurs. “I promise.”

“You’re not; don’t lie to me.” Phil pauses for a second, thinking. “You should leave.”

“No.” Dan doesn’t elaborate, but his voice is firm.

“Yes,” Phil argues. “I can see from a mile away that this place is killing you. You need to get out while you still can.”

“Come with me then,” Dan begs. He sits up, grasping Phil’s hands tightly in his own. “Please; you have to!”

“I—” Phil hesitates. “Dan, I can’t right now. I can’t explain it.”

“You want to stay, but you’re worse off here than I am!” Dan cries. “How can you say that you want to leave, that you want to be with me, and then tell me to go off by myself. The whole reason for coming back was to get you! I can’t leave without you, and I won’t even try, okay? It’s that simple. If you want to get me out of here, you’re going to have to come with me.” He lets out a quivering breath. “I’m not leaving you, Philip. I can’t — not again.

“Now shut up and let’s get some rest.”


	9. Nico And The Niners

**_"I'm flying from a fire, from Nico and the Niners."_ **

* * *

“That’s it?” Cara asks. “That’s your plan? Waltz in and out and hope no one sees you?”

Josh nods.

“It’s that simple,” he confirms. “Jenna, you’re with me,” he calls, waving over the blondewoman.

“Okay,” she replies, running a hand through her hair. “So, why the change of heart?”

“As I said earlier — Tyler’s a Bandito and we’re not leaving him behind,” Josh answers. “You can’t save everyone, but if we’ve already saved ourselves, why not save a friend as well?”

“Contradicting yourself just a tad, Dun,” Jenna tells him, laughing softly. “I’ll take it, though.”

“Sorry.” He shrugs before turning to face the others. “Right, well, let’s get going, then! Follow me!”

***

Phil sighs in exhaustion as he hears something in the distance, staring at the ceiling above him. Dan groans, covering his head with his pillow as he turns over on his own bed.

“Shut up,” he moans, his words muffled. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“It’s not me,” Phil replies, sitting up. Dan curses loudly, the single syllable unmistakable. “Watch your language.”

“Watch your mum,” Dan retorts. He sits up as well though, rubbing his eyes. Phil stands and glances out the window, frowning. “What’s going on out there?”

“Don’t know,” Phil answers. He grabs his jacket, motioning for Dan to do the same. The younger man does, albeit reluctantly. Together, they walk down the stairs of the silent building, exiting it to stand beneath the blackness of the night sky. Warm light glows in the distance, and Dan squints.

Suddenly his eyes widen. “I don’t believe it!”

“What?” Phil demands, curious. “What is it?”

“The Banditos!” Dan cries. He takes off running, and Phil hesitates only a second before running after him. Sure enough, they eventually run into a group of yellow and green clothed people, and Dan grins. It’s the first time Phil’s seen him smile in days. He appreciates it, but he can’t deny a  
small pang of jealousy as Dan shakes hands with a dark-haired man.

“Fancy seeing you here, Howell,” the man says, though it’s clear he’s not surprised at all.

“I could say the same, Josh,” Dan replies.

“Came to get Tyler and figured we’d grab you and your friend,” Josh answers. He looks at Phil. “I’m assuming you’re the famous friend.”

“Um, I guess,” Phil says quietly, shaking Josh’s hand when the man extends it. “Phil Lester.”

“Joshua Dun,” Josh returns. “So, now we’ve got two out of three.” He holds up his torch, studying the rows of identical buildings. Phil doesn’t miss how several sets of blinds lower as they pass and how eyes peer through the slits to glare at them. “Follow me.”

“Phil!” Phil turns at the sound of his name, a weary smile crossing his lips as he sees a woman with blonde hair. She hugs him tightly, and he hugs her back.

“Hello, Louise,” he whispers.

“It’s so good to see you,” she tells him. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“No need to be,” Phil replies as he pulls back. “I’ve been doing just fine.”

“Yeah?” Louise says. “That’s good.”

“And you?”

“Fantastic. I’m glad you’re coming with us.”

Phil forces what he hopes is a reassuring smile. He can’t muster the courage to tell her he’s not planning on leaving with them.

As the small group makes its way through the city, Phil watches. He watches Dan talk to people with ease, watches him laugh and smile in ways he hasn’t seen since the younger man returned to Dema.

It hurts to witness.

_But that’s exactly why he should go._


	10. Cut My Lip

**_“Rust around the rim; drink it anyway. I cut my lip.”_ **

* * *

The torches are going dim by the time Tyler is located. Phil is tired, but he presses on, smiling politely when Tyler says hello and letting the younger man introduce him to the Banditos.

Phil doesn’t remember any of their names — save for a couple he’s met before they left Dema.

“—going to take the tunnels out and get out of here,” Tyler explains. “Got it?”

Phil blinks, shaking his head as he tries to reorient himself. “What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Got it.”

“You okay?” Tyler asks quietly.

“Fine,” Phil lies. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Oh, so you’re ready to finally going to get out here?” Dan chimes in, nudging Phil pointedly.

“Sure,” Phil answers with a shrug. “Why not?”

“That’s the spirit!” Dan says brightly.  
Josh suddenly stops, and Phil feels a strange fear grip him as he spies the low tunnels.

“Alright, back out we go, gang,” he calls. “Come along!” With that, he disappears into the rocky cavern, and the others begin to follow him. Phil grips Dan’s arm tightly as the Banditos slowly disappear into the tunnels, the light of their torches slowly receding into the dark dankness of the  
cave.

“Come on,” Dan says gently as the last of the Banditos — sans Tyler — enter the tunnels. “Just us three left.”

“Dan, I—” Phil swallows thickly. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.” Dan grabs his hand, pulling him forward. “Come on. It’s easy.”

“I don’t know.”

It’s foolish to refuse, and he knows it, but there’s something holding him back, something that won’t let him even think about entering the dark caverns that lead out of Dema.

What it is, Phil doesn’t know, but he doesn’t like it.

“Please,” Dan begs. “You promised — you promised me you’d try!”

“I can’t; I’m sorry.” Phil’s words are hushed and void, and Dan’s face falls immediately. “Go without me. I’ll be fine.”

“I can’t—” Dan’s dark eyes glint with tears. “I can’t leave you again. I love you too much for this.”

“I love you too. I’ll come one day. Soon. I promise, Daniel.”

Phil’s just barely finished speaking when Dan wraps his arms around him and kisses him hard. It’s full of fear and longing like Dan already misses him even though he’s right here, and every fibre of Phil’s being longs to plead for him to stay.

What’s best is best, though.

Phil reminds himself of that as Dan steps back.

“Whoever said it’s better to love and have lost than to have never loved at all must have never loved you. I daresay I would have rather you and I never met than continually have you insist on  
staying in this hell.”

With that, Dan disappears into the hole of the tunnelled structure and fades from Phil’s sight quickly — too quickly.

“You’re a strange person,” Tyler says softly. Phil jumps, having forgotten he was there. “You say you want to leave, but every time you’re given the chance to escape, you refuse to take it.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil whispers. “I wish I could, but there’s… I don’t know. I just can’t right now. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re not hurting anyone except yourself,” Tyler tells him, shaking his head. “Well, yourself and Dan. Don’t apologise to me — apoligise to him and do something about it.”

“I can’t,” Phil repeats.

Tyler presses his lips together as he steps forward, idling beneath the rocky overpass.

“Sure you can,” he replies matter-of-factly. “You just won’t.”

With that, he disappears, leaving Phil behind.

Again.


	11. Bandito

_**"I could take the high road, but I know that I'm going low."** _

* * *

_~ after ~_

Phil touches the skin of his neck carefully, his eyes flicking over the blackened skin in the mirror.

Caught.

It is the worst thing that could have possibly happened, and yet Phil feels nothing.

It’s laughable, really.

Sure, the others in Dema might regard him as a disgrace, but it’s not as if they didn’t already. The Bishops might kill him if he causes too much trouble, but that’s no different than what it was  
before, either. The worst thing Phil could’ve imagined happening has happened, and yet he feels oddly content, oddly sated. There’s nothing they can do. He’s powerless, but so are they.

He’s free in every way except physically, but he can finally change that.

He smiles at his reflection, grabbing his bag and walking briskly down the stairs. The air is cool and fresh, smelling like wet pavement, and it fills him with a kind of calm he hasn’t felt in months, if not years. The sky is lighter than normal, intermittent clouds breaking up the dark blue sky, and the moonlight casts a silvery glow over the entire city.

It’s eerie but beautiful, and Phil loves it.

The edge of Dema catches his eye, but he hesitates on stepping across the border.

 _Why?_ he asks himself. _You have nothing left to lose._

Still, the sight of a pair of vultures circling the starlit night sky sends shivers down his spine, makes his stomach twist and knot.

Vultures are symbolic of death, and Phil doesn’t want to be anywhere near them, even with this newfound courage. Where there are vultures, there are sure to be Bishops. The two go hand-in-hand like thunder and lightning — one comes first, but the other is never far behind.

He turns and steps back, retreating a couple metres. He accidentally crashes into someone, and he immediately starts apologising, but the words die in his throat as he realises who it is.

Cloaked in brilliant robes of scarlet, the Bishop Lisden stares down at him. Phil scrambles backwards, fear making his chest tighten. Lisden doesn’t say a word — he only gives Phil a look that akes the dark-haired man’s body shake with anxiety as he walks away.

It’s not until the deep red  
fades into the night that Phil lets out the breath he was holding.

He runs a hand through his hair, trying to think.

“Right,” he whispers, shaking his head. “Caves. Wasn’t that it? They took the tunnels out.”

_If I could actually remember where they are…_

The only way to find them is to start searching, though, he decides.

***

The sun is just beginning to rise by the time Phil locates the cave system. He’s almost positive it’s in a slightly different place than it was the last time, but he doesn’t dwell on it.

Taking a deep breath, he reaches into his bag and pulls out an unlit torch and a lighter. He flicks the lighter on, the flame catching the torch quickly and easily. The yellow and orange light illuminates the darkened tunnel, casting eerie shadows over the stone walls. Holding it up, he can see the first winding turn, but beyond that, it is unknown.

_Don’t think about the unknown. Unknown doesn’t matter right now._

Taking a deep breath and steeling his nerves, he steps in the the tunnel.

The first step forward is the hardest. Everything in him screams to run back, but he focuses on what’s waiting for him beyond the caves. He forces himself to take another, and another, and another, until he no longer has to consciously tell himself to walk.

The sun on the horizon meets his eyes as he steps out of the tunnels and into Trench.


	12. Pet Cheetah

**_"I wanna stop time; I'll sit here 'til I find the problem."_ **

* * *

Dan groans as someone shakes him awake, rolling over and covering his eyes with his arm.

“Go away,” he moans. “The sun’s not even up yet.”

“Well, that’s just rude after all the time I spent travelling to get here,” a familiar voice says.

Dan sits up immediately, his annoyance temporarily forgotten as his bleary eyes land on Phil’s smiling face.

“What the fuck?” he cries, jumping up and throwing his arms around the older man. “I hate you! Oh, my God; I can’t believe you finally did it!”

“I always told you I would, didn’t I?” Phil asks. Dan laughs, grinning as he pulls back.

“Christ, I’d just about given up my hope on you,” he breathes. “I’m so glad you’re here, though. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Phil says. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You got yourself out of there, and that’s more than we can say for most people,” Dan replies seriously. “And look at you! You did it without anyone at your side!”

“They got me, though.” Phil gestures at his neck, and Dan bites his lip.

“So?” he says after a moment. “They got Tyler as well — five different times! — and he’s been here for weeks. Doesn’t mean anything. If anything, I’d say it’s a good sign of determination and dedication. You got caught, but you still made it out.”

Phil laughs. “I said those exact words to Tyler when he and I first met.”

“And they’re true!” Dan points out. “There’s an element of truth in anything that is repeated by multiple people on multiple occasions — they can’t all be liars, right?”

“I guess,” Phil allows. He opens his mouth to say more, but his eyes land on his brother. “Martyn!”

“Phil?” Martyn turns, his eyes widening. “Phil!”

Phil doesn’t hesitate to run over, throwing his arms around his brother.

“Hi,” he greets breathlessly as Martyn hugs him back. “Been a while, stranger.”

“It really has,” Martyn agrees.

“Where’s the fiancee?” Phil asks as he straightens up again, stepping back. “I haven’t seen Corndog in ages.”

“Hey!” a distinctly feminine voice shouts from a few feet away. “I can hear you, Lester!”

“Which one?” Martyn and Phil both call in response. Dan laughs, his eyes bright at the sight of the two brothers.

 _They may not be exactly alike, but they’re certainly similar_ , he thinks with a shake of his head.

“Alright, Philip,” Cornelia says, walking over. “You may have just gotten here, but—” She hits him in the shoulder “—there’s that.”

“Ow,” Phil complains, rubbing his arm. “Rude.”

“And calling me Corndog isn’t?” she fires back.

Phil turns to Martyn. “Redheads really are the work of the devil,” he tells his brother. “Good luck.”

“Oh, piss off!” Cornelia cries.

“You’re the only real redhead in the vicinity,” Dan reminds him.

“No one needed to know that,” Phil replies hotly. He grins, hugging Cornelia tightly, and then grabs Martyn and pulls him closer. Dan ends up in the group a second later, squished between Phil and Martyn, but he couldn’t be happier.

A small family, in the middle of nowhere, bonded by nothing more than pure unadulterated love.


	13. Legend

_**"You're a legend in my own mind."** _

* * *

“Thank you.”

Tyler looks up at the hushed words, meeting Phil’s clear blue eyes.

“What?” he asks, standing. “For what?”

“For trying to help me even though I wouldn’t accept it,” Phil answers. He looks down, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I was being a stubborn fool, but you… you kept trying your best until it became dangerous to your own health and safety. I applaud that. You showed courage and bravery, and wisdom. So thank you.”

“I—” Tyler pauses as he processes Phil’s words. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“If it wasn’t for you, I probably never would’ve gotten here,” Phil continues.“I would’ve probably lived and died in Dema.”

“Thank you,” Tyler repeats. “I’m really glad I could help, at least a little bit, but really, you’re the one who did the work. Don’t place all the credit on me. You’re the one who got yourself out, whether you accept that fact or not. I didn’t drag you out — you walked out. That’s the mark of a strong person. Congratulations. I always did tell you could do it, and you did.”

“And that constant reassurance, that reminder…” Phil draws in a deep breath. “That’s what got me to take that first step.”

“It was hard, wasn’t it?” Tyler asks gently.

“Yeah, it was,” Phil admits.

“But you did it,” Tyler reminds him, “so there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to do anything else. No reason you shouldn’t be able to leave the city, no reason you shouldn’t be able to do  
anything you put your mind to do. Fear… it’s all in your head. A remnant of being in Dema. Trench doesn’t mean your problems are over, though. It’s a safe place, sure, but you can always end up back in Dema — you probably will at some point, actually. Your problems aren’t over until you leave the city completely. However, you made the first step, and that’s not to be taken lightly.” He smiles. “Welcome to Trench, Phil.”


	14. Leave The City

_**"In time, I will leave the city; for now, I will stay alive."** _

* * *

Dan looks out at the horizon, squinting into the rising sun.

 _East is up_ , he thinks.

“East is up,” Phil whispers.

“Yeah.” Dan takes Phil’s hand in his, licking his lips as he looks over the flat land. It extends past where the eye can see, but so did Trench at one point.

But they’re here now. That’s what matters.

Dan is aware of the other Banditos near him, each staring out at the horizon line. Josh, Tyler, Jenna, Cornelia, Martyn, Louise, Cara…

They all want it, but not all of them will get it.

Any combination of the Banditos may be in that group that never escapes, but in Trench, they aren’t alone.

The cast may rotate as people come and go, but everyone is united as one. They are united despite age, social status, ethnicity, language, gender, sexuality…

They’re all one, together.

Being a Bandito is more than being one person in Trench.

It’s being a member of a large family who loves and cares for you, no matter what.

* * *

_But this year, though I'm far from home, in Trench I'm not alone. These faces facing me — they know, they know what I mean…_


End file.
